Pet Peeves

Pet Peeves

Dear Sir(s),

It really pisses me off when you do any of the following:

  • Mention that you only want a girl who is emotionally/mentally stable. Yes, I realize the fact that this PISSES ME OFF is slightly ironic, in the Alanis sense. But do you realize that anemotionally stable girl is kind of an oxymoron? (No offense ladies, but we all know our emotions are all over the place!) Plus, I have some issues with depression - which are carefully regulated andunder control thanks to medication and therapy. Comments like that make me feel like I am damaged goods and no one will ever love me. So eff off!
  • Send me a message that says "hi." That really opens the door for some great conversation, don''t ya think? All you''ve given me to work with is a "hello" or "howdy" or "yo whatup dog!" And then where will you go from there? Don''t expect a response.
AND he''s a shirtless d-bag?! Oh boy!
That''s a little better, I guess
And now we''re back to square one.
  • Don''t post a picture. I get it that you want to be judged for your personality and not your looks, and that''s fine. Beauty is only skin deep, blah blah blah. Just don''t wait on me to send you a message. Because I never will. Send me a witty message though, and you might get lucky. (You should know though, I liked Jeff, aka "The Mask," on The Bachelorette better before he revealed himself. That mask was the only intriguing thing about him, and once he took it off it turned out that he really didn''t have the looks OR any personality.)
  • Don''t put a lick of effort into your profile. Granted, I''m an old pro at the online dating thing, so I''ve got my profile worked out to science. But I think you should give me more than "I''m new to this and I don''t really know what to write. I like sports and beer and meat." DUH, you are a guy.

(Pics of "about me" sections don''t seem to show up so you can read them, but believe me when I say I have a plethora of examples.)

  • Co
    ntact me even though you are well out of my age range. 25-36 is a pretty broad range for a 27 year old, I think. If you''re a year or so out of the range, give it a shot, I won''t deny you just based on that. But if you are barely legal to drink or closer to my dad''s age than mine, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
  • Can''t write like a grown up. Seriously, don''t even get me started on the bad grammar, terrible spelling, and chatspeak that makes you look less educated than the middle schoolers I teach. (See previous post)

So, men of the online dating world, here is some advice. Be careful who you may be alienating with the wording of your profile. Post a pic, or for goodness sake make sure you initiate all conversation and/or have a KILLER profile (though if you don''t have a picture, I''m not going to look at it unless you''ve sent me an intriguing message). Say something clever. And for the love of all that is holy, if she''s old enough to be your daughter/grandaughter/mother/teacher...you need to move on to the next profile.

Love,

Your fellow online dater